*drinks vodka* *gags* “ugh I hate vodka” *drinks vodka*
"sir what you did is literally 100 percent illegal"
"ok but get this: im a rich white person"
"oh sorry about that sir"
"no pain no game." i whisper as i break my sisters leg while playing twister
wow I can’t believe the Jonas Brothers aren’t brothers anymore
Make fun of your baby for shitting itself
if magikarp can do nothing and then suddenly grow up to be really useful then so can i
walking to the side of pokemon trainers and talking to them first so you feel in control
I LOVE LEARNING BAD THINGS ABOUT PEOPLE I DON’T LIKE
"Money can’t make you happy"
WELL IT SURE AS HELL AINT GONNA MAKE ME SAD
When you say something smart and people are shocked
it’s halfway through 2014 and i have literally achieved nothing
what if disney channel had a throwback week and all the old shows and movies were on it
dropping out of school to become part of a chicken nugget cult